You survived the divorce. Now you have to survive your first parent-teacher conference together. Here are a few tips with how to be cordial to your ex during your next parent-teacher conference.

This is not about you

This meeting has zero—repeat, absolute zero—to do with you two as a couple. It has EVERYTHING to do with your child. Put that at the forefront of your brain and please don’t forget it. 

When it comes to your child, you’re on the same team

You both are here to learn about your child’s progress in school. The things they’re doing well, the things to celebrate. The areas they may need some help with and what is is you can do to help them. Remember, you and your ex can disagree on everything else in life, but when it comes to helping your child succeed in school, you both are on the same team, every time.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Remember the golden rule you learned in kindergarten? Yes, that one: Treat everyone with respect. Respect your ex during the conference and respect your child during the conference, too, by respecting your ex—their teacher will appreciate this as well! Above all, do not resort to any kind of name calling or playing of the “blame game.”

If needed, call a spade a spade

If you know there is absolutely no way you and your ex can peacefully and productively sit in together on a parent-teacher conference, ask your child’s teacher if it’s possible to do two separate ones. This may or may not be possible, but looking into other options might be beneficial for all.